I haven’t had a look at Christwire.org for a while but I was getting bored this evening and decided to have a quick look to see if they are still giving The Daily Mash a run for their money.

I was not disappointed!

Try reading the following without being reduced to a fit of giggles :

Katy Perry Uses Her Marinated Sinbags To Make Children Masturbate

Katy Perry is the most un holy women the world has ever seen and she wants your children to be sneaking into their rooms and demon whack their private parts to her pornographic videos. Her main goal in life is to control your children with sex. She has gone from a sweet Christian girl to your typical liberal media, power hungry whore and will stop at nothing to be the top Jezbel of devil music. She knows if she can brainwash your children by using her sinbags, she can force them to buy her records and goto her shows. The more money she makes the closer to satan she becomes. Her and the devil get off knowing that she confuses kids into touching themselves. As we know masturbating is a sin and she knows children at a young age are confused. She uses the confusion to make them rebel against God and take part in forcefully creating devil DNA.

Look at the whorish witch craft that spews out of her sinbags in the images below. Those things are covering our children’s minds with liquid whore lava. Notice that in every video she makes sure to have those baby feeders in plain sight. She doesn’t realize God gave her those, so she could have many children and feed them. She forgot those were made for her, so she could be a good Christian stay at home mom and make many Christian babies.

Here she is trying to brainwash little children by wearing a Elmo shirt. She knows children love Elmo and wants them to start yanking their baby torpedo at a young age.:

They even include one of their very helpful graphs (the link is to the dangers of unemployment from Christwire and is well worth a look in itself) on the dangers of Ms Perry :

Below is a graph showing the increase in young men touching their twiddle rompus’ and spewing devil DNA ever since Katy Perry has been made a devil whore icon.

Now, put your “twiddle rompus” away before Ed Vaizey blocks you!