Seeing the headline, most people would think of lost homes, bankruptcy or an increase in crime.

Unless, that is, you are a fundamentalist christian type from my old favourite Christwire.org who see the following dangerous trends in the US after Obama’s administration extended unemployment benefits :

With Unemployment Benefits Extended, Rates of Domestic Masturbation And Sodomy Are Poised to Skyrocket

Yes, they are on an anti-wanking crusade all over again and this time they even have a financial style graphic to illustrate the ‘problem’ :

Looking at that, unemployed tugging rates look very much like a forecast for future Greek debt levels!

Anyway, I digress :

Is masturbation a serious issue today? If you consider that we are standing at the crossroads of perversity and perseverance, between a time when an entire generation could move to the unemployment rolls where they would risk their physical and spiritual health through incessant masturbation and sodomy instead of focusing on innovation, hard work and family-building, then yes masturbation is significant problem for our future as a nation. The Obama Administration seems to side with the masturbators, extending them benefits and discouraging them from careers, pushing them to a place where they may end up in public housing, on public assistance with all the free time in the world to practice self-abuse and further immoral penetrations of the body.

This is really beyond satire.

Go on and have a read at the whole thing if you want some amusement!