Following on from the previous post, the graphic below from Christwire.org has handy tips for parents and work supervisors on how to spot either chronic or casual masturbator in their midst (seriously – go look at the link) :

There is also the following advice to Christian moms on how to find out about their sons naughty bedroom habits :

One trick passed on to me is that you can press your nose to a young man’s mattress, inhale deeply and (irregardless of the smell) announce, “That smells like semen.” If the boy’s face turns red and he runs from the room, the evidence is clear.

More likely that the boy is running from the room as he has just realised that he was adopted and cannot possibly be the son of this demented harridan who goes around the house sniffing the furniture for the scent of semen.