Trust The Daily Mash to make me choke on my coffee again :

AFTER five hectic days the general election produced a result last night as the sociopath who has been dicking about with your life for the last 13 years finally got the fucking message.

In a historic announcement Gordon Brown said he was standing down but not before he had discharged his constitutional duty to steal the government for the sack of shit-eating weasel arseholes who have spent most of their shabby careers licking his greasy balls.

…

“John F Kennedy once remarked that the ‘hottest places in hell are reserved for those who sat on the fence’ but of course, I think what he actually meant to say was ‘Good God, the Lib Dems really are a bunch of fucking cocksuckers, aren’t they?’.”

Cover your keyboard and go have a read.