Well, it is Friday so time for a little Daily Mash.

I can’t quite decide which of the following is the most amusing so I will tag them both here – do go and read the full articles!

First we have Ed Balls complaining about the children’s commissioner making decisions based on her experience with the highlight being this little gem :

Julian Cook, professor of public policy at Reading University, said: “The public is often caught between highly trained experts who have studied a subject in depth and actually know what they are talking about and the bastard, son of a bitch whores we call politicians who spend their entire lives with the throbbing penis of the editor of the Daily Mail lodged firmly inside their filthy, lying mouths.

House of Whores has a certain ring to it I think.

Moving on we have news that the National Curriculum is to include lessons on abject terror :

PUPILS across the UK are to have the absolute screaming bejesus scared out of them on a weekly basis, under changes to the national curriculum.

…

Teacher Martin Bishop, from Doncaster, said: “I’ve already rigged up a convincing mutilated corpse in the stationery cupboard and just wait until 3C get a visit from Rapey Roger, the Satanic Clown.”

He added: “For years we’ve tried varying forms of cognitive therapy, positive reinforcement and reward schemes for good behaviour but finally we’ve been given the green light to really fuck with their minds.”

I can actually see that one being considered if the current lot get in again.